WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt

I might have a problem and need your advice.

 Recently I've adopted a method that was shown to me by one of the very erudite influencers who I slavishly follow .... or it might have come from a sermon by the new priest with the funny foreign accent. Anyway, this method, invented by Socrates requires me to follow up statements with a question. OK? When, on the blogs, I'm stumped  and cannot come up with a clever response to comments made by the other bloggers on my blog posts I say "why do you say that?" I think I'm being smart but, from some of the responses it appears that I might be irritating those bloggers. Is this a wise thing to do?

Yours faithfully,

Avery Sillifello.

Dear Avery

While adopting some of the sayings or teachings from the famous Greek philosophers can indicate intellectual cleverness in  some cases, but, in others it can, as you've discovered, become very annoying. When the same trite phrase is used over and over again without any obvious understanding of the discipline that it is derived from you are in danger of looking silli, sorry, silly.

Socrates, as you should know was a very silly fellow, also having the ability to annoy people with his inane questions and contradictions. These were in fact widely known as The Socratic Problem. Socrates eventually pissed off enough people (and corrupted his young followers) so that he was sentenced to death. I'd take that as a warning if I were you.

Why don't you adopt the teachings and sayings of someone slightly less controversial. Enid Blyton might be a start.

Sincerely yours from the top of the tree,

The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.

"IT IS SO HUMILIATING RECEIVING JESUS"

 Dear The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt

I did my did my bit at the Church shop. I bought a couple of things and Christine paid for a liturgy she had taken last sunday. That was all the business that happened. I could have saved myself $16 by attending my regular parish. It was the last Sunday for the priest. He is off to Waikanae. I gave him a wave as he left in his car. He seemed nice enough, but his jokes were very hard to understand with his Filipino accent.
He told one today which I didn't really get. I really do not think jokes are always appropriate at Mass where Jesus and all the angels in eternity are joining in celebrating the sacrifice Christ made for sinful man. Then coming to each of us in person in the Holy Eucharist. It is so humiliating receiving Jesus.

Should I be worried?

- Robert the apathetic sinner and toilet cleaner.


Dear Robert

You are joking aren't you?

You say that your priest (is that Father Offthebetta?) tells jokes at Mass that you 'don't get'. It would have helped if you'd mentioned what the joke was. Was it this one?

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me ... and I got it!

Maybe not, but I'm a bit bewildered here. You said that, and I quote: "I really do not think jokes are always appropriate at Mass" yet you go on to make a very big joke that I think is hilarious. You said, and again I quote: " ..... at Mass where Jesus and all the angels in eternity are joining in celebrating the sacrifice Christ made for sinful man. Then coming to each of us in person in the Holy Eucharist."

What a hoot!

Should you be worried? I'm not sure but I can damn well say that everyone around you should be worried especially when you say: "It is so humiliating receiving Jesus." Now I don't know what goes on in that church of yours on Sundays but there's a suggestion there of something rather unhealthy. maybe you should  do some soul-searching on that before bothering me with your silly questions mmm?

Yours,

The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.

Robert being humiliated by Jesus