Sunday, 21 January 2018

THE FRIENDLESS SOCIETY

Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt

I write posts on my Facebook account and don't get any likes. Why does no-one like me?

 - RP

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Dear RP (did you forget the 'I').

I did a Google search on you and discovered that you have a blog that goes by the title RP. You also have other blogs that seem to be unused. Quite frankly, going by the quality, the frequency, the comprehensibility, the relevance, the readability, the interest factor, the images quality, the overt religious theming, the cockamamy social and political posturing and of course the longevity and durability of these blogs it's no wonder that when it comes to your Facebook entries you don't get many 'Likes'.

May I suggest that you join a Friendless society.
I've attached a link to an audio clip that may be of assistance.

FRIENDLESS SOCIETY


- THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT


Friday, 5 January 2018

DIRTY BOY

"Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt,
As I get older I find that I hanker more and more for the things of my youth.
I write blog posts about things that happened at school in the 1960s and reminisce about people, music, films, books, comics etc from over 40 years ago.
Recently I've taken to eating my Weetbix with hot water, milk and sugar, all stirred into a mush and to make sandwiches out of vegemite and raspberry jam. Today I made an old favourite - a sandwich made of luncheon sausage and tomato sauce.
Should I be worried?
- Peter Pan"


Dear Peter Pan,

Have you done your homework?
I suggest that you tidy your room before complaining to me and what are those strange stains on your bedsheets?


DIDACTIC DICK

Dear The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt I have a problem that's getting worse as I grow older. Everything that I do I need approbation for....