Sunday 31 January 2021

AMARONE OR CHIANTI?

 Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt


I live in a pristine part of the country, by the water in a beautiful bay.

Occasionally some scrote of a fisherman catches snapper and fillets them while on his boat and drops the fish frames - head, skeleton, tail and some other 'meat' - into the water which end up on the shoreline.

How do I stop this from happening?

 - Philip A. O'Phisch


Dear Philip. I'm sorry to hear of your little problem but the answer is in a word you used. Fillet.

I suggest you buy or 'procure' as sesquipedalian Robert says, a very sharp filleting knife.

Lie in wait until you see the offending fisherman step onshore and, with a deft stroke or two, remove his liver. Quickly pan-fried this can be served with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

- The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt

4 comments:

  1. Does it really matter. Seagulls or pet dogs will find them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it does really matter. This is not a fucking rubbish dump. The frames sit around for ages. It's just laziness and who gives a fuck attitude.

      Delete
    2. I'm waiting for Agony Aunt's reply to my comment.

      Delete
    3. The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt held up a middle finger and said "swivel."

      Delete

DIDACTIC DICK

Dear The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt I have a problem that's getting worse as I grow older. Everything that I do I need approbation for....