Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.
I know someone who used to work in the wine industry and who writes a wine blog. He knows a lot about wine and in his blog posts uses high falutin' language to describe the wines he's tried. These wines are usually far too expensive for the normal person to buy and quite frankly, horrible. Once I saved up to buy one of the wines he dribbled on about. It was an Australian shiraz - Black Pepper something or other. It cost a fortune! I tried it and it was too damn thick. I don't know where that pepper stuff came from in the name as I couldn't taste any of that. all I could taste was red wine. Thick red wine. It was too dark to see through as well. I prefer my own choices which I buy at Pak 'n Save, usually from the specials bin and never more than $10 a bottle. Am I wrong?
- Phyllis Steine.
Dear Phyllis. No, no, you're not wrong À chacun son goût I say or, in your language "I know what I like so there."
If it weren't for you and people like you then where would we be eh? It would be near impossible to get a table booking at a good restaurant and the car parks in decent supermarkets like Farro Fresh and Moore Wilson would be full (like Pak 'n Save). The shelves of these would be stripped bare of decent cheeses, meats, breads and vegetables and we'd all be forced to eat that fast food shit that you no doubt love. This is why McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Nandos and all those other poison factories exist - to cater to you and your ilk. If it weren't for you and yours then wine shop shelves would not be able to keep up with stocking decent, well made (and labelled) wine. It's no accident that most of the wine industries offerings are in bag-in-the-box format or in cheap sub $10 bottle packaging with 'cleanskins' being ever more popular. This is so discerning people can go about purchasing their preferred beverages in a quiet and orderly manner while you lot squabble and fight over the cheap shit on special.
No, you're not wrong. Carry on as you are.
- The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.
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Agony Aunt, I knew I'd met you before! You're Sally Oldkunt! I knew it! That certainly was a black and white answer. I know a guy who likes to taste honey and other crap in his wine. He was once silly enough to buy a chilled red for some huge price. It took him days to get over it. On another occasion he went to a fancy wine shop by the Basin Reserve in Wellington and the shop over charged him. Not everybody who buys supermarket wine live on takeaways. You might be buying at superior places and feeling smug but did you know that your name sounds like something else? Enjoy your poncy shopping Sally Oldkunt.
ReplyDeleteOh my - hit a nerve have we? I wasn't specifically referring to you Mr Thin Skin Richard (of RBB) but - if the coat fits etc.
ReplyDeleteMay I suggest that when making a pun as you attempted to do of the name you think I have, that you do so subtly? The best puns don't require a clumsy explanation. So you don't buy takeaways - well done you. Enjoy your soggy aubergine sandwiches and lentil pasta dishes.
- The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt
Thanks Sally.
ReplyDelete