Wednesday, 13 October 2021

TAKING THINGS LITERALLY

 Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.

I have a problem in that I keep using the word 'literally. This literally is driving me crazy - see what happened there? I literally know that I should lose the habit as I literally die from shame when I hear myself use the word. I literally feel like an idiot.

What can you suggest?

Ivor Habbit.


Dear Ivor

Yes, you are an idiot and I can't help you to stop using that over-used word in the way (metaphorically) that it should be used. You lack fresh ideas and I guess are pretty dull.

The only thing I can suggest is that you join a group of similar people and 'hide in plain sight' as it were.

Fortunately for you there are many of these organisations that meet regularly (Covid-19 regulations permitting), usually on Sunday mornings. Try The Catholic church. There's bound to be a representation of this lurking in your area. You can share your affliction with people like you.


Yours, The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.




4 comments:

  1. Sorry, we only accept idiots in this group.

    - The Catholic Church Recruitment Officer

    ReplyDelete
  2. OK, correct usage of the word 'literally' but have you had any new members in your 'group' recently?

    - The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What's Sue's take on Transubstantiation (and we don't mean that underground rail terminal)?

    - The Catholic Church Recruitment Officer

    ReplyDelete

DIDACTIC DICK

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