Dear Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.
I have a problem in that I keep using the word 'literally. This literally is driving me crazy - see what happened there? I literally know that I should lose the habit as I literally die from shame when I hear myself use the word. I literally feel like an idiot.
What can you suggest?
Ivor Habbit.
Dear Ivor
Yes, you are an idiot and I can't help you to stop using that over-used word in the way (metaphorically) that it should be used. You lack fresh ideas and I guess are pretty dull.
The only thing I can suggest is that you join a group of similar people and 'hide in plain sight' as it were.
Fortunately for you there are many of these organisations that meet regularly (Covid-19 regulations permitting), usually on Sunday mornings. Try The Catholic church. There's bound to be a representation of this lurking in your area. You can share your affliction with people like you.
Yours, The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.
Oh god!
ReplyDeleteSorry, we only accept idiots in this group.
ReplyDelete- The Catholic Church Recruitment Officer
OK, correct usage of the word 'literally' but have you had any new members in your 'group' recently?
ReplyDelete- The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt.
What's Sue's take on Transubstantiation (and we don't mean that underground rail terminal)?
ReplyDelete- The Catholic Church Recruitment Officer